Mountains, on mountains, on mountains in North Dakota.
Now, If you know anything about the geography of the United States, then you’ll know that there aren’t particularly mountains in North Dakota. Actually there are not even slight inclines across the whole state of North Dakota, but my family and I thought we climbed the Alps on one short vacation there. Of course, these mountains are a figure of speech, but let me tell you a story.
Before my mother’s health really started declining, we decided to go out west. My mom wanted to hit all 50 states before she passed (I think she ended up hitting 45 which is still amazing). So per mom’s request, summer of 2017 we decided to take a road trip out West.
My parents were both busy so they gave the three kids the task of planning the trip. We were ecstatic, mapping out how many national parks we were going to hit, planning flights, counting hours in the car, and making sure we hit every single detail, not missing a stop. We spent all night making sure that we had flights, Amtrak tickets, hotel rooms, and a rental car. You name it, we had it marked off our list.
This trip was planned and acted upon around 5 months before my mom passed, so we knew that her health was declining, but we really didn’t understand the severity of it until halfway through this trip.
When looking back at the notes that my brothers and I jotted down while planning this trip, we tried to pack 11 states into 10 days. 11 states.
So, a little insight into myself, when I have an idea or am given an idea to complete, I go all out. I take it to a level that is almost unobtainable, but what can I say? I dream big sometimes. When looking back at the notes that my brothers and I jotted down while planning this trip, we tried to pack 11 states into 10 days. 11 states. It really makes me laugh, mainly because it was so inconceivable but we had our hopes set high for that trip west.
A couple days before we headed out to the wild west, my mom was taken off of some of her medication. Just some minor medications, like her anxiety and depression pills.
We had found out that those two pills combined with my moms chemo pills made her a little different. When I say a little different, I don’t mean it in a bad way at all. At a certain point it was almost comical. We called her “chatty Cathy” for a whole two weeks. Now, when I say “chatty Cathy”, I do not mean this lightly.
During this two week span of non-stop talking, my boyfriend came to visit. The first morning he was there it was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was reflecting off the morning dew, the birds were singing while the dogs lounged on the sun bleached porch, and the stifling humidity had yet to set in. We took advantage of this beautiful morning and decided to eat breakfast together on the porch, my parents and brothers included.
My mom walked outside halfway through breakfast, strutting past the threshold and giving each of us a big kiss on the forehead. As she was sitting down, it started.
“Oh, what a beautiful morning.”
“I think I’m going to plant some flower pots today.”
“If I plant flower’s today though, they might not last our whole vacation and I have to find which ones work best on the porch, but maybe I can go find bigger pots at Walmart, they’re probably cheaper. What are you all going to do today? Maybe I could tag along. Its such a pretty day. Maybe you should go to the lake. We could get the kayaks out and paddle around since its so hot today. Maybe I could text Mimi and we could visit her pool…”
On, and on, and on she went. I am not kidding. My mom talked so much that after ten minutes of her monologue my dad called her inside the house. When they walked back outside holding hands, my mom looking sheepishly at us. She spoke and said, “I am so sorry. Your dad told me that I have been talking so much that no one else has even been able to say a word, I just don’t know what is wrong with me, I just feel like everything I am thinking needs to be said out loud and I’m sorry, I don’t know what is wrong with me. Really though, I would love to go to the lake or the pool because it’s so nice…here I am doing it again.”
Two weeks after the morning of the monologue, my mom had a follow up doctors appointment where my dad begged to be given an unlimited, lifetime supply of ear plugs or for the doctors to level out her medicine. The doctors decided to do the latter, taking her off of some of the medications to try to see which she could do without.
Fast forward…the first day of our trip out west. Due to some scheduling conflicts and my oldest brother being somewhat complicated, the first leg of our trip was taken by just my mom, my youngest brother, and myself. The first hiccup was experienced as soon as we stepped foot into the airport.
My mom was weak, and in so many ways we should have called off the trip as soon as we started encountering the problems but we were determined to make this trip work. My mom was never one to complain (too loudly at least) and never wanted to show weakness. She was afraid of being vulnerable in so many ways.
My mom was weak, and in so many ways we should have called off the trip as soon as we started encountering the problems but we were determined to make this trip work.
We arrived at the airport and the lines to the ticket counter were horrendous. I found a place for my mom and brother to campout with all of our luggage, praying that maybe this long line would mean a shorter line for security.
After grabbing our tickets from the check in monitor, I hurried past the corner with our carry -on’s, determined to get in the security line and make it to our terminal to ensure we wouldn’t miss our flight.
Long story short, my mom couldn’t continuously walk 100 yards without having to search for a bench to rest and catch her breath.
A kind TSA Agent pulled me to the side after the 3rd bench we inched up to, noticing the frustration and panic on my face.
“Would your mom like a wheelchair?”
I turned, forgetting how fragile my mom’s spirit was, “Mom, here this is perfect. Lets get you in this and we can easily walk through security.”
The tears were instant.
Looking back, I understand why she was so upset. This was the turning point of her health, losing the freedom to keep up with her busy life and even more, her kids…
Thanks again to everyone that is reading and keeping up with my posts. This story of our trip is a long one, so keep an eye out for my pt. 2 coming up soon.
Shoot me a comment or even reach out by email. I would love to get to know some of my followers. Thank you all.
-H
Searching for Sunflowers 